Never Have I Ever
by Bondomu
Summary: A Battle to the Death takes place in Kobayashi's apartment.


**This idea has been plaguing my brain for a little while so I thought "why not let it free on the dragon maid fandom" . This will probably suck ass, though. I don't usually write for series like this one so this is going to be a relatively new experience for me haha. Oh well, you have to try in order to succeed, right? I might as well give it a go.**

 **Start**

"Hey, Miss Kobayashi!" Tohru asks, abruptly pulling Kobayashi out of her daydream, "Since it's the last day of break, we should hang out with everyone!"

"And do what?" Kobayashi replies, "We don't really have anything to do and it would be boring if we only talked the day away."

"Well, I have a few ideas. But they'll need your wonderful approval first." Tohru beams.

Kobayashi hopes to the high heavens, well, Hell in Tohru's case, that these 'games' she has in mind are not dangerous at all and can be played by humans as well as dragons. "Are they safe to play with Humans? Could people die from any of these games?"

Tohru pauses to think, "Hmm, Yes to the first, and a maybe to the second."

"Absolutely no games where you can get killed! Try a human game, Tohru. If you want help finding one just use the Internet." Kobayashi says.

A few minutes later Tohru turns around after shutting off the computer. "Right. I've found a game we can play. It has to be safe since a human suggested it. Actually, they suggested a few games but this one sounded fun to say in my head so I chose it!"

"Oh, great, what did you choose?" Kobayashi asks, looking up from the book now in her hands.

"Never Have I Ever." Tohru grins, "It sounded like a lot of fun, since you have to drink and play at the same time!"

"It sounds fun and all but that's an alcoholic game. Kanna wont be able to play, maybe she can in the Dragon world but here she can't." Kobayashi replies.

At that moment, Kanna came wandering into the room and over to Kobayashi. "Kobayashi? Can I go to Saikawa's house for the night?"

Kobayashi glances at Tohru to see a grin on her face, "Alright, but you have school tomorrow so you'll have to go with Saikawa. Is that ok?"

Kanna nods and goes to pack her bag for both school and the sleepover. Kobayashi turns to Tohru and shrugs, "Well, I guess that solves it."

"Shall I invite the others while you take Kanna to her friend's house or shall we both drop her off and then invite the others?" Tohru asks.

"Actually, you might want to go shopping for food while I drop Kanna off. We didn't restock yesterday and we basically ate what was left in there this morning. When we get back we'll invite them over." Kobayashi says, sliding out from under the Kotatsu and over to the chair where her bag was hanging.

"Right as always, Miss Kobayashi!" Tohru exclaims, "I shall do the shopping right now! We will probably need some alcoholic beverages as well.

2 Hours Later

As soon as Kobayashi got home she rang Takiya's number and invited Fafnir and him over, then she did the same with Elma and Lucoa as well; with a friendly reminder to Lucoa to not bring Shouta with her for this. Tohru got home and instantly started preparing some meals for the incoming guests.

Finally the guests arrived and Tohru gave everyone a shot glass. Takiya had to explain how the game worked to everyone because Tohru had forgotten the rules. They all sat around the Kotatsu and bickered about who would start the game. Finally it was decided that Fafnir would start the game.

And so, it began. Takiya tells them they all have ten points, last one standing wins a free lunch.

"Never have I ever... liked maids." Fafnir says, looking Kobayashi dead in the eye and watching as both her, Takiya and Tohru and all take shot.

"Man, Fafnir's really dishing out already. Guess it's my turn then." Takiya grins, "Never have I ever... had a maid!"

Takiya grins as Kobayashi takes a swig and glares daggers at Takiya. "You're all after me, aren't you!?" She growls, "Fine! My turn! Never have I ever been obsessed with video games!"

Takiya only grins wider, "Are you already drunk, Kobayashi!? Do you not remember 7th grade? That time when you were so obsessed with DOOM II that you skipped multiple days off school just to play it?" He says as he takes his own shot.

Kobayashi groans and ends up taking a shot as well. Everybody notices Fafnir try and hide the fact he had to take shot as well but they don't say anything.

"Myyyyy turn!" Lucoa says, "Never have I ever... um... played Never have I ever before this?"

Everyone pauses for a few seconds as they try to understand the question and how to answer it. Then Kobayashi and Takiya take a shot.

"Right. I'll go now." Elma says quietly, "Never have I ever not wanted the mall bakery's custard cakes."

Everyone one takes a shot. "What!? How can you have not wanted them!? They're the best!" She says in shock.

"Oh shut up Elma not everyone loves food as much as you do!" Tohru groans, "Anyway! My turn! Never have I ever kissed Kobayashi... sadly."

Takiya takes a shot and practically wilts under the glare he receives from Tohru, "What? We were drunk. Besides, we're friends so we didn't really think much of it anyway."

"I'd kill you right now but Miss Kobayashi would kick me out." Tohru growls.

"No one is killing anyone in my apartment!" Kobayashi mumbles, glaring at Tohru and Takiya.

It was back to Fafnir's turn now. "Never have I ever... fallen in love with a human girl."

Tohru glares daggers and takes a shot, "Why so oddly specific, Fafnir? You could have just said human and I would still had to have taken a shot. Hmm, hiding something?" She teases, but Fafnir doesn't react so she gives up trying to get a reaction out of him.

Takiya grins, "Never have I ever fallen in love with Kobayashi."

"You really want to die, don't you?" Tohru hisses as she takes a sip.

Kobayashi groans in annoyance as they start fighting again, "Will you two stop fighting!? Please! No maid should be fighting with the guests! It's unheard of! It's my turn now! Never have I ever kissed a dragon!"

Lucoa takes the shot instantly. No one is surprised. She thinks about what to say for a few seconds before, "Never have I ever died."

No one takes a shot.

"Never have I ever hated a food." Elma says.

Everyone takes a shot.

"Back to me, huh... Never have I ever pretended to be human just for the food." Tohru says, an evil smile on her face as she turns to look at Elma who reluctantly takes the shot.

"Wow, that's Elma's first shot of the night. She's in the lead by heaps." Lucoa says.

It was Fafnir's turn again, "Never have I ever missed a timed event since I started playing these games."

Kobayashi and Takiya take their shots, silently cursing the cursed dragon.

"Never have I ever died in a low level boss battle!" Takiya says proudly, and Kobyashi is not sure whether to be amused or concerned that he might have been cheating in games.

Fafnir makes a disgruntled noise and takes a shot, as does Kobayashi.

Kobayashi hums as she thinks of something to say, "Never have I ever read a romance novel."

Takiya and Elma both take a shot; Elma's face blushing a deep red.

"Never have I ever kicked an animal." Lucoa smiles.

Tohru takes a shot.

"Why'd you kick an animal?" Kobayashi asks in concern.

"It wasn't just any animal. " Tohru grins, "It was Elma."

"Hey!" Elma squeaks, "Not nice!"

"Come on, Tohru. Don't be mean." Kobayashi says.

"Never have I ever wanted to kiss Kobayashi!" Elma shrieks at Tohru.

"Damn you!" Tohru mutters and takes a shot. "Never have I ever stuffed my face with pastries!"

Elma, Kobayashi and Takiya all take a shot.

Once more it was back to Fafnir, "Never have I ever cheated in a game."

No one takes a sip, surprisingly.

"Never have I ever... skipped an anime intro." Takiya says.

Lucoa takes a shot.

"You watch anime?" Kobayashi says.

"Well, Shouta does sometimes. So I like to catch up on what he watches so we can chat about it! It makes for good conversation. But sometimes an opening can get a bit annoying after a while so I skip it every now and again." Lucoa explains.

"Huh..." Kobayashi says slowly, "Well, Never have I ever eaten dragon tail...hopefully." She sends a glance at Tohru who quickly averts her eyes.

All the dragons except Elma take a shot.

"Never have I ever... had a serious injury." Lucoa hums.

Tohru takes a shot with a huff of annoyance.

"Never have I ever eaten a domestic creature." Elma says, sounding almost proud of herself.

Tohru takes another shot.

"Hah! You're out, Tohru! You used up all ten points!" Elma grins.

"What!? Already!? How dare a dragon be the first to lose!" Tohru screeches, "Unacceptable!"

"Oh come on, it's just a gameee." Lucoa smiles, "Lighten up, Tohru."

With a huff, Tohru sits out of the game and watches the rest of them play. Mumbling about how it was her turn and she had to miss out.

With a sigh, Fafnir says, "Never have I ever cried over spilled milk."

Everyone realizes that Fafnir doesn't know it's a metaphor, and no one takes a shot.

"Never have I ever..." Takiya pauses to think, "pulled two all-nighters in a row."

Fafnir sends a glare Takiya's way before taking his shot. The vodka bottle was starting to run low and Kobayashi wonders if Tohru bought another bottle or if she only just got the one.

"Hmm... never have I ever killed a person." Kobayashi says.

Fafnir and Lucoa take a shot.

"Ahh I have one! Never have I ever been in the Harmony faction." She grins at Elma.

"That wasn't even subtle." Elma sighs, taking a shot. "Ugh, never have I ever k-kissed a boy." She blushes in embarrassment.

"Oh here we go with these questions." Kobayashi sighs as she takes a shot. She had silently wondered when the questions would become like this.

To everyone's surprise Fafnir takes a shot, to no ones surprise Lucoa takes a shot, and to the dragons interest Takiya takes a shot as well.

"Fafnir, who did you kiss?" Tohru speaks up suddenly, "As far as I remember you never left your cave except for food."

"Who I kissed is of no concern to you." Fafnir says, crossing his arms.

Tohru crawls over to Lucoa and Elma, bring them in close to whisper into their ears. "Hey, he must have kissed someone in this world, there's no way it was from his cave. Try and get the answer out of him, I'm so curious right now!"

"That doesn't seem like a very nice thing to do, Tohru!" Elma says.

"Oh shut up, Lucoa will do it, wont you?" Tohru replies.

"Yeah sure, I'm quite curious myself." Lucoa shrugs as Fafnir sends them glares, hearing every whispered word from their mouths.

With Tohru, Takiya and Kobayashi now out of the game, Lucoa figures it'll be easier to get answers out of Fafnir now, and she's got two turns to do it."

"Never have I ever liked a human Television Show." Fafnir growls.

Elma sighs and take her shot, "I admit I kind of liked Guy Fieri's Diners Drive-ins and Dives." She says in defeat.

"Never have I ever been in a proper relationship." Lucoa says, staring right a Fafnir as Tohru gives her the thumbs up.

Fafnir's glare could kill as he takes the shot.

"Never have I ever... kissed someone in this room..." Elma says, giving in to Tohru's behind the scenes peer pressure.

Fafnir's perfect poker face twitches for a second and he takes a full 6 seconds before he takes the shot. Everyone stares at him, then at Takiya; the only other male in the room. It all clicks into place and suddenly it was obvious from the very beginning.

Tohru seemed incredibly relieved over the news. "Oh thank hell, now I have Miss Kobayashi all to myself!"

"This is surprising, Fafnir. But I'm happy for you!" Lucoa says, smiling at him.

Elma isn't sure what to say about it all. Takiya is silently sitting there, his face beet red.

"Hey, Takiya? How come neither of you told us? You realize we would have accepted you both, right?" Kobayashi asks gently.

"Yeah, I know. But it's just one of those things, you know? It's hard to just tell people, even when you're really close." Takiya replies.

"I already knew you like both men and women, so that wasn't a surprise but I was more shocked over Fafnir and his dislike for things." Kobayashi grins, "Besides, I've been thinking for a while now but... maybe I do like Tohru. I know I told her I wasn't into women, or dragons for that matter but... I guess it's just one of those defensive sayings? You know how it is when you freak out and say something without really thinking about it. Not only that but the thought of being into a dragon seemed to strange for me to handle. But I guess it's not so bad, and if you can do it then maybe I can too."

The two continue chatting in hushed whispers about dragon dating while the other's all ask Fafnir questions.

By the end of the night everything has a warm buzzing feeling to it. Elma ended up winning the free lunch much to her delight, and once everyone was gone, Kobayashi had pulled Tohru aside and told her that 'maybe dating a dragon wouldn't be so bad' and decided after that the look on Tohru's face was the happiest she's ever seen.

Kobayashi decides that on the last day of every holiday it shall be a games night.

 **End**

 **Well, it probably sucked but whatever. I'm thinking I might make a chapter two or a part 2 where they play truth or dare but I don't know. It's 3:12 AM right now and honestly I'm too tired to make any decisions.**


End file.
